Marley was dead: to begin
with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his
burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and
the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good
upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley
was as dead as a door-nail.
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what
there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been
inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of
ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the
simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the
Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat,
emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be
otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don't know how many
years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his
sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and sole
mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad
event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day
of the funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.
The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I
started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be
distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I
am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that
Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there would be nothing
more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly
wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other
middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy
spot-say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance-literally to astonish
his son's weak mind.
Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name. There it stood,
years afterwards, above the warehouse door: Scrooge and Marley. The
firm was known as Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the
business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he
answered to both names. It was all the same to him.
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a
squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old
sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever
struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary
as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped
his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made
his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his
grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows,
and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about
with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn't thaw it
one degree at Christmas.
External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No
warmth could warm, nor wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew
was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its
purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't
know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and
sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect.
They often "came down" handsomely, and Scrooge never did.
Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome
looks, "My dear Scrooge, how are you? when will you come to see
me?" No beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked
him what it was o'clock, no man or woman ever once in all his life
inquired the way to such and such a place, of Scrooge. Even the
blindmen's dogs appeared to know him; and when they saw him coming
on, would tug their owners into doorways and up courts; and then
would wag their tails as though they said, "no eye at all is better
than an evil eye, dark master!"
But what did Scrooge care! It was the very thing he liked. To
edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human
sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call
"nuts" to Scrooge.
Once upon a time-of all the good days in the year, on Christmas
Eve-old Scrooge sat busy in his counting-house. It was cold, bleak,
biting weather: foggy withal: and he could hear the people in the
court outside go wheezing up and down, beating their hands upon
their breasts, and stamping their feet upon the pavement-stones to
warm them. The city clocks had only just gone three, but it was
quite dark already: it had not been light all day: and candles were
flaring in the windows of the neighbouring offices, like ruddy
smears upon the palpable brown air. The fog came pouring in at
every chink and keyhole, and was so dense without, that although
the court was of the narrowest, the houses opposite were mere
phantoms. To see the dingy cloud come drooping down, obscuring
everything, one might have thought that Nature lived hard by, and
was brewing on a large scale.
The door of Scrooge's counting-house was open that he might keep
his eye upon his clerk, who in a dismal little cell beyond, a sort
of tank, was copying letters. Scrooge had a very small fire, but
the clerk's fire was so very much smaller that it looked like one
coal. But he couldn't replenish it, for Scrooge kept the coal-box
in his own room; and so surely as the clerk came in with the
shovel, the master predicted that it would be necessary for them to
part. Wherefore the clerk put on his white comforter, and tried to
warm himself at the candle; in which effort, not being a man of a
strong imagination, he failed.
"A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!" cried a cheerful
voice. It was the voice of Scrooge's nephew, who came upon him so
quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his
approach.
"Bah!" said Scrooge, "Humbug!"
He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the fog and
frost, this nephew of Scrooge's, that he was all in a glow; his
face was ruddy and handsome; his eyes sparkled, and his breath
smoked again.
"Christmas a humbug, uncle!" said Scrooge's nephew. "You don't
mean that, I am sure."
"I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! what right have you to
be merry? what reason have you to be merry? You're poor
enough."
"Come, then," returned the nephew gaily. "What right have you to
be dismal? what reason have you to be morose? You're rich
enough."
Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment,
said, "Bah!" again; and followed it up with "Humbug."
"Don't be cross, uncle," said the nephew.
"What else can I be" returned the uncle, "when I live in such a
world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas!
What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without
money; a time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour
richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in
'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If
I could work my will," said Scrooge, indignantly, "every idiot who
goes about with 'Merry Christmas,' on his lips, should be boiled
with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his
heart. He should!"
"Uncle!" pleaded the nephew.
"Nephew!" returned the uncle, sternly, "keep Christmas in your
own way, and let me keep it in mine."
"Keep it!" repeated Scrooge's nephew. "But you don't keep
it."
"Let me leave it alone, then," said Scrooge. "Much good may it
do you! Much good it has ever done you!"
"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by
which I have not profited, I dare say," returned the nephew:
"Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of
Christmas time, when it has come round-apart from the veneration
due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can
be apart from that-as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable,
pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the
year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up
hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really
were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of
creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it
has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe
that it
has done me good, and
will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"
The clerk in the tank involuntarily applauded: becoming
immediately sensible of the impropriety, he poked the fire, and
extinguished the last frail spark for ever.
"Let me hear another sound from
you" said Scrooge, "and you'll keep your Christmas by
losing your situation. You're quite a powerful speaker, sir," he
added, turning to his nephew. "I wonder you don't go into
Parliament."
"Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow."
Scrooge said that he would see him-yes, indeed he did. He went
the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him
in that extremity first.
"But why?" cried Scrooge's nephew. "Why?"
"Why did you get married?" said Scrooge.
"Because I fell in love."
"Because you fell in love!" growled Scrooge, as if that were the
only one thing in the world more ridiculous than a merry Christmas.
"Good afternoon!"
"Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before that happened.
Why give it as a reason for not coming now?"
"Good afternoon," said Scrooge.
"I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; why cannot we be
friends?"
"Good afternoon," said Scrooge.
"I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute. We have
never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party. But I have
made the trial in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas
humour to the last. So A Merry Christmas, uncle!"
"Good afternoon!" said Scrooge.
"And A Happy New Year!"
"Good afternoon!" said Scrooge.
His nephew left the room without an angry word, notwithstanding.
He stopped at the outer door to bestow the greetings of the season
on the clerk, who, cold as he was, was warmer than Scrooge; for he
returned them cordially.
"There's another fellow," muttered Scrooge; who overheard him:
"my clerk, with fifteen shillings a-week, and a wife and family,
talking about a merry Christmas. I'll retire to Bedlam."
This lunatic, in letting Scrooge's nephew out, had let two other
people in. They were portly gentlemen, pleasant to behold, and now
stood, with their hats off, in Scrooge's office. They had books and
papers in their hands, and bowed to him.
"Scrooge and Marley's, I believe," said one of the gentlemen,
referring to his list. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr.
Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?"
"Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years," Scrooge replied.
"He died seven years ago, this very night."
"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his
surviving partner," said the gentleman, presenting his
credentials.
It certainly was; for they had been two kindred spirits. At the
ominous word "liberality," Scrooge frowned, and shook his head, and
handed the credentials back.
"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge," said the
gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than usually desirable that
we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute,
who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want
of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common
comforts, sir."
"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge.
"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen
again.
"And the Union workhouses?" demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in
operation?"
"They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say
they were not."
"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?" said
Scrooge.
"Both very busy, sir."
"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something
had occurred to stop them in their useful course," said Scrooge.
"I'm very glad to hear it."
"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer
of mind or body to the multitude," returned the gentleman, "a few
of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat
and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is
a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance
rejoices. What shall I put you down for?"
"Nothing!" Scrooge replied.
"You wish to be anonymous?"
"I wish to be left alone," said Scrooge. "Since you ask me what
I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at
Christmas, and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to
support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and
those who are badly off must go there."
"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."
"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do
it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides-excuse me-I don't
know that."
"But you might know it," observed the gentleman.
"It's not my business," Scrooge returned. "It's enough for a man
to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other
people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon,
gentlemen!"
Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point,
the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge resumed his labours with an
improved opinion of himself, and in a more facetious temper than
was usual with him.
Meanwhile the fog and darkness thickened so, that people ran
about with flaring links, proffering their services to go before
horses in carriages, and conduct them on their way. The ancient
tower of a church, whose gruff old bell was always peeping slily
down at Scrooge out of a gothic window in the wall, became
invisible, and struck the hours and quarters in the clouds, with
tremulous vibrations afterwards, as if its teeth were chattering in
its frozen head up there. The cold became intense. In the main
street, at the corner of the court, some labourers were repairing
the gas-pipes, and had lighted a great fire in a brazier, round
which a party of ragged men and boys were gathered: warming their
hands and winking their eyes before the blaze in rapture. The
water-plug being left in solitude, its overflowings sullenly
congealed, and turned to misanthropic ice. The brightness of the
shops where holly sprigs and berries crackled in the lamp-heat of
the windows, made pale faces ruddy as they passed. Poulterers' and
grocers' trades became a splendid joke: a glorious pageant, with
which it was next to impossible to believe that such dull
principles as bargain and sale had anything to do. The Lord Mayor,
in the stronghold of the mighty Mansion House, gave orders to his
fifty cooks and butlers to keep Christmas as a Lord Mayor's
household should; and even the little tailor, whom he had fined
five shillings on the previous Monday for being drunk and
blood-thirsty in the streets, stirred up to-morrow's pudding in his
garret, while his lean wife and the baby sallied out to buy the
beef.
Foggier yet, and colder! Piercing, searching, biting cold. If
the good Saint Dunstan had but nipped the Evil Spirit's nose with a
touch of such weather as that, instead of using his familiar
weapons, then indeed he would have roared to lusty purpose. The
owner of one scant young nose, gnawed and mumbled by the hungry
cold as bones are gnawed by dogs, stooped down at Scrooge's keyhole
to regale him with a Christmas carol: but at the first sound of
"God bless you merry gentleman!
May nothing you dismay!"
Scrooge seized the ruler with such energy of action, that the
singer fled in terror, leaving the keyhole to the fog and even more
congenial frost.
At length the hour of shutting up the counting-house arrived.
With an ill-will Scrooge dismounted from his stool, and tacitly
admitted the fact to the expectant clerk in the Tank, who instantly
snuffed his candle out, and put on his hat.
"You'll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?' said Scrooge.
"If quite convenient, Sir."
"It's not convenient," said Scrooge, "and it's not fair. If I
was to stop half-a-crown for it, you'd think yourself ill used,
I'll be bound?"
The clerk smiled faintly.
"And yet," said Scrooge, "you don't think
me ill-used, when I pay a day's wages for no work."
The clerk observed that it was only once a year.
"A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of
December!" said Scrooge, buttoning his great-coat to the chin. "But
I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next
morning!"
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